i want to be a real boy!

i've been in this job for a little over six months now. but it wasn't until yesterday that i became a real boy! see, up until then i've been working here as a contractor. i've known for about three months that i would be hired on as a permanent employee, but the company didn't want to buy out the contract, so i just remained a contractor for the six month duration. anyway, nothing is really different. pay is about the same, benefits are better, my office chair is still uncomfortable. but somewhere in the back of my mind, i feel a little more comfortable. like i belong here now. it's weird how the mind works.

along those same lines, my mind messes with me in my running also. pretty much all of my runs start out on the same course. where i turn around determines how far i run. i can also do variations of a loop that runs from six to about eleven miles. when i ran last thursday, i planned on doing four miles. i was happy to see the two mile marker (i have spray painted mile markers on all the roads near my house) and even though my pace wasn't very quick, i was glad when the four miles was over. on saturday, i planned on and did about nine miles. i passed that same two mile marker doing about the same pace, and i felt fine, whereas thursday when i knew i was only doing four miles, that same two mile marker was a relief. hmmm. it's strange that just because i knew i was doing nine miles, the first two miles were easy, and when i passed four miles i still felt fine. the same four miles two days before seemed much more difficult, and i think it's just because i knew i was only doing four, and that's what my mind told my body to prepare for...

that reminds me of a quote that i saw on the back of someone's shirt when i was doing tri in indy a couple of years ago:
"the toughest competition you face is that little voice inside your head telling you to slow down"
that's so true. your body can do so much more than your brain wants to allow.

anyway, i still haven't been running as much as i would like. the weather is finally turning nicer, though... or so i thought. see, it was beautiful yesterday. when i got home from work, it was in the low 60s and sunny. i was salivating at the thought of running at nite in shorts and a tshirt. no sweats, no hat, no gloves... well by the time everyone settled down at home (the kids are on spring break), it was late, and i didn't get out to run until after 11:00. i put on my running shorts and shirt, laced my shoes, stepped outside, and.... could see my breath! what the hell? it was 60 a couple of hours ago! well i still ran, and after a mile or two was reasonably warm, but i had been looking forward to sweat dripping off my face, and certainly not having to keep the pace up to keep warm. when i got home, the weather channel said the temperature was 35. wow. that's a big drop. oh well. at least i got the workout in.