small victories

i am probably one of the most competitive people anywhere. i HATE to lose. at anything. i mean, i've never really played tennis, but if andre agassi called me up and wanted to play a match with me, i'd still be pissed off when i lost. this is why i don't play softball or bowl anymore. but for some reason, running and triathlon are different. i can accept my place in these events. the only expectations i have for myself are 1) have fun, 2) don't get seriously injured, and 3) don't finish last. anything but last is OK. 300th out of 400 in a road race? cool. good job. 1826th out of 2100 in an ironman? wonderful. couldn't be better. finishing 1-2 in a soccer tournament? oh.my.god. no way. (insert expletive-laden tirade here). you get the idea.
on saturday, i ran the 10k loop again. it's all country roads here, and there is never a shortage of interesting smells and roadkill. while running i remembered some of you discussing roadkill and your disdain for it. i realized that i have a different perspective. i mean, it's obvious that flattened squirrel just didn't have what it takes to finish the course. rabbit with the squished head? nope. you lose. what was that, a cat? oh well, i'm demonstrating my superiority over you too. see, on the other hand, I'M going all the way. the order of finish:

1) me
2) flattened squirrel, squished rabbit, cat(?)

as you can see, i wasn't last. it's little victories like this that keep me going. (aren't you glad you're not my psychologist??)
i'm happy to announce that saturday's run was devoid of any storms. thanks to those that offered their encouragement and support on my previous battle with the elements. but while there wasn't any lightning, those of you that live in the midwest can attest to the fact that it suddenly became january again! it was FREEZING. have i mentioned before how much i enjoy the cold? i mean, wasn't it like 80 degrees a couple of days ago? i walked outside, saw my breath, then got blown over by the 25mph winds. wtf? are you kidding me? the weatherman had said it was going to be really cold, but since i'm a stubborn bastard, i refused to believe it, and now found myself standing outside in shorts and a tshirt with wind chill in the teens. i went back inside and put a sweatshirt on, but refused to wear sweats. anyway, off i went. now, the 25mph winds were coming out of the northwest, and the first mile or so of my run was directly into the wind. this was not the most pleasant experience i have ever had. my face and hands were well past numb. strangely, my underdressed legs were not chilled at all. a 90 degree turn to the south helped out alot, as now the wind was pretty much at my back. this and another turn east were wonderful, until i came to the final turn north. the last two miles are pretty much all uphill, and now were also pretty much directly into the wind. some of my thoughts:

why am i doing this?
i don't even have a race planned!
would it be easier if i ran backwards? nope. yeah, i tried it. go ahead and laugh.
if i was in a vehicle traveling at the speed of light, and i turned the headlights on, would they do anything? (i told you my mind tends to wander sometimes when i run...)

i actually found myself giggling during these last two miles at the silliness of having to brave this ridiculous temperature, winds, and go uphill all at the same time. at least i think i was giggling. my face wasn't actually capable of moving.
a more normal 4 mile run happened yesterday. it was warmer. nothing really spectacular happened. and i was pretty happy about that!